


I Wanna Scream I Love You From The Top Of My Lungs

by until_your_breathing_stops_forever



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Anxiety, Confession, Fluff, Kisses, Love, M/M, One Shot, Panic Attack, Peterick, trigger - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 12:01:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7170233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/until_your_breathing_stops_forever/pseuds/until_your_breathing_stops_forever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete is having an anxiety episode and Patrick calms him down in a new way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME READERS - PLEASE STAY SAFE AND DO NOT READ IF IT MIGHT AFFECT YOU BADLY.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Wanna Scream I Love You From The Top Of My Lungs

PETE'S POINT OF VIEW

I can feel myself going insane. Patrick went out leaving me alone in our house, just me and the silence. I haven't got any more anxiety medication and I can feel my heart getting faster and faster like its a race. I jump up and start to pace my room up and down. Up and down. Up and down. I sigh loudly and hold my face in my hands.

My mind won't fucking stop. Keeps going. Never stops. I need to get out of here but I can't. I feel frozen everything is stopped apart from my god damn mind. Now I understand why Tyler Joseph sang "Sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind." I let out a long piercing scream and fall to my bedroom floor.

Nothing stops. I scratch at my arms, desperate to hurt myself. I want to die. I want to get up, grab all the medication in my house and wash it all down with vodka. I can't though. I must not. Fuck fuck fuck. My breathing becomes erratic, I can't keep a beat. The only noise in my house is my breathing and that terrifies me. I back up against my bedroom wall, can't do anything but feel and that's the worst part.

I want to kill myself. I should, everyone would be better off. I scream again and scratch at my face. "FUCKING STOP MAKE IT FUCKING STOP!" I scream out to no one in particular. Where did Patrick go, I need him now. I can't breathe, oxygen won't go into my lungs and I feel a panic attack coming on. I let out one last long scream and hear the front door open just as I start to scream. I can't breathe and just pant and nearly cry at the same time. I am shaking extremely hard, just jerky movements and I can't fucking do anything about it.

Patrick bursts through my door and spots me over in the corner. He runs over to me and sits next to me and puts his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest. "Pete, Shhhh. Breathe at the same pace as me okay? In and out." I can feel his breathing perfectly and try to copy him, improving as I get calmer and calmer. Tears are still streaking down my face but I have stopped shaking and I am breathing more normally now. "It's okay Pete, I've got you. Nothing including your mind is going to hurt you." Patrick murmurs with his arms still around me.

I gather the strength to hug him back and we stay like that until the tears are drying and my breathing is normal now. "Thank you so much Patrick." I mumbled into his chest. "No bother Pete. I am here for you okay? You are my best friend and I love you." His breathing hitches at the end. "I love you too Patrick." I mumble back. He takes a deep breath and simply mutters "Fuck it." I am shocked slightly at his swearing and more so at his sweet tasting lips that crash onto mine two seconds later. I kiss back and I feel a smile through his kiss. We break apart and he giggles slightly and I smile back as he rests his forehead on mine.

"Why the fuck have you never done that before? I have been waiting forever." I whisper. "Cause I was too afraid to lose you Pete." He mumbles back and pecks my lips again. "I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me." He sings softly and I kiss him again. "Don't be afraid anymore Trick." 

He smiles. "I won't. By the way, the reason I left early this morning was to get your medication. It's somewhere in hall where I dropped it trying to run to you." He laughed and I pull us both up and grab his waist and kiss him deeply before holding him into my chest. "Love you Lunchbox." I whisper to him and he mumbles back "Love you Pete Panda." "Now let's go retrieve my medication. Also can we walk into band practice tomorrow holding hands and see what Joe and Andy say?" I grin at Patrick. "Sure Pete." He laughs and I feel okay for the first time in a while and it feels good.

**Author's Note:**

> This one shot was written about how I feel right now so I should have gotten this accurate. I don't want any of you to hurt yourself, etc. Please seek help if you feel like this.


End file.
